Santa Singh is BACK!!!

Source: - Forwarded email ...

 

 

Repeat, but gud ones…

 

 

Santa Singh were having dinner.

Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".

Santa Singh thinks "how poetic"

Santa Singh says, "pass the custard you bastard".

 

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********

 

Santa Singh at bar in New York.

Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"

Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"

Santa Singh says - "Santa Singh Married"

 

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********

 

Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary

Rs.2000/-, is it o.k

Santa Singh : U R great sir! Starting salary is

o.k.......but? ?

how much is DRIVING salary...?

 

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********

 

Santa Singh's theory : Moon is more important than Sun, coz it

gives light at night when light is needed & Sun gives light during

the day when light is not needed!!!

 

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********

 

Santa Singh and Banta Singh are driving a Car. Santa puts on the indicator

and asks Banta to check whether its working. Banta puts his head out and says

YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO...

 

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Santa Singh shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do

register marriage and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day

in the post office....

 

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********

 

Santa Singh is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts

its 1 leg, and says, "chal", it walks.

He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.

He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he

wrote the conclusion.. ....

....... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"

 

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********

 

A Tamilian call up Santa Singh and asks " tamil therima??"

 

Santa Singh got mad, angrily replied.... "Punjabi tera

baap!!!"

 

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********

 

Santa Singh and Banta Singh were looking at Egyptian mummy.

Santa Singh : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident

case.

Banta Singh : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC

1760!!!....

 

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********

 

Santa Singh on an interview 4 da post detective.

Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?

Santa Singh : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start

investigating right now. ......

 

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********

 

Santa Singh for an exam had studied only one essay

'FRIEND', but in the

exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced

friend with father

in the essay and>it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON,

I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,

SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY

TRUE

FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.

 

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********

 

Interviewar: what is ur qualification?

Santa Singh : Sir I am Ph.d.

Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?

Santa Singh : (smiling) PASSED HIGH SCHOOL with

DIFFICULTY.. ..

 

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********

 

Amitabh : In which state Kaveri flows?

Santa Singh : liquid state.....

Someone in Audience clapped.. Amitabh stunned, looks behind, IT WAS BANTA SINGH..... ..