Common lines after people get drunk !!!

Funniest mail ever ... I have personally experienced each one of them, thanks to all my beloved friends ...

Common lines after people get drunk...

1.     Tu to Mera bhai hai...

2. You know i am not drunk...

3. Gaadi mai Chalaunga...

4. Abe abhi itni Aur Andar ja sakti hai...

5. Tu bura mat manana bhai...

6. Mai teri Dil Se Izzat Karta hu...

7. Abe bol daal aaj usko, aar yaa paar....

8. Aaj saali Chad nahi rahi hai kya bat hai...

9. Tu Kya samajh raha hai mujhe chad gayi hai...

10. Ye mat samajh ki piye me bol raha hu...

11. Abe yaar kahin kam to nahi padegi itnee...

12. Chhote , Ek Ek Chhota aur ho Jae...

13. Baap ko mat Sikha.

14. Yaar magar tune mera dil tod diya...

15. Kuchh bhi hai par saala Bhai hai Apna...

16. Tu Bolna Bhai , kya chahiye...Jaan chahiye hazir hai ???

17. Abe mere ko aaj tak nahi Chadee...shart laga saala aaj tu..

18. Chal teri baat karata hoon usse, phone number de uska

Dilbert's One liners!!

Source: Email Fwd ...

Wonderful ones!!

 
 

Here are some nice Dilbert's one liners: 1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen. 2. A friend in need is a pest indeed. 3.   Try & try, if you don't succeed, then CHEAT 4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time. 5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane. 6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train. 7. Born free, taxed to death. 8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film. 9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first. 10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking. 12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere. 13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork. 14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light. 15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius. 16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it. 17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills? 18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one? 19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon! 20. If you can't convince them, confuse them. 21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end. 22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. 23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers 24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker. 25. Someday is not a day of the week 26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock. 27. To Err is human; to forgive is not a Company policy. 28. The road to success.... Is always under construction. 29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk. 30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it. ….and here's the best of the lot 31. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or MARRIEd to someone else!

Yeah !!! That makes Sense

Yeah !!! THAT MAKES SENSE

 

1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry!
Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian.
Think about it. 
 
3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside.
So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!

4. Don't walk as if you rule the world,walk as if you don't care who rules the world!
That's called Attitude…! Keep on rocking!

5. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did
and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!

6. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank had no affair.
When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.They said , he who never lived, cannot die!

7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!

8. So many options for suicide:
Poison, sleeping pills, hanging,
jumping from a building, lying on train tracks,
but we chose Marriage, slow sure!

9. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!

10. All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

11. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru
We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi
Ab aap bataaye kiski sune bapu di ya chacha di???

12. When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart,
When tears flows from your eyes always say these words…
Eh Ganpat, chal daru la…

13. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.
Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!